Outline of “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie (1936)

  1. Fundamental technique in handling people.
    1. Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.
    2. Give honest & sincere appreciation.
    3. Arouse in the other person an eager want.
  2. 6 ways to make people like you.
    1. Become genuinely interested in other people.
    2. Smile.
    3. Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest & most important sound in any language.
    4. Be a good listener. Encourage in others to talk about themselves.
    5. Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
    6. Make the other person feel important – & do it sincerely.
  3. How to win people to your way of thinking.
    1. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
    2. Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “You’re wrong”.
    3. If you’re wrong, admit it quickly & emphatically.
    4. Begin in a friendly way.
    5. Get the other person to say “Yes, Yes” immediately.
    6. Let the other person do a great deal of talking.
    7. Let the other person fell the idea is his or hers.
    8. Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
    9. Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas & desires.
    10. Appeal to the nobler motives.
    11. Dramatize your ideas.
    12. Throw down a challenge.
  4. Be a leader. How to change people without giving offense or arousing resentment.
    1. Begin with praise & honest appreciation.
    2. Call to attention people’s mistakes indirectly.
    3. Talk about your mistakes before criticizing the other person.
    4. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
    5. Let the other person save face.
    6. Praise the slightest improvement & praise every improvement. Be “Hearty in your approbation & lavish in your praise”.
    7. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
    8. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
    9. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.

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