“Resolutions when I Come to Be Old” by Jonathan Swift (1709)

  • Don’t marry a young woman
  • Don’t keep company unless they really want it
  • Don’t be angry, sad, envious or suspicious
  • Don’t complain about the modern area
  • Don’t like children
  • Don’t tell the same story over & over
  • Don’t neglect decency or hygiene
  • Don’t be too hard on the young
  • Don’t listen to gossip or tattling
  • Don’t give unsolicited advice
  • Find friends to let you know if you’re slipping up
  • Don’t talk much, especially about yourself
  • Don’t boast of past glories
  • Don’t listen to flattery
  • Don’t think you can land a young lady
  • Don’t seek a legacy
  • Don’t be too opinionated
  • Don’t observe all of these rules too closely.

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