“Resolutions when I Come to Be Old” by Jonathan Swift (1709)
- Don’t marry a young woman
- Don’t keep company unless they really want it
- Don’t be angry, sad, envious or suspicious
- Don’t complain about the modern area
- Don’t like children
- Don’t tell the same story over & over
- Don’t neglect decency or hygiene
- Don’t be too hard on the young
- Don’t listen to gossip or tattling
- Don’t give unsolicited advice
- Find friends to let you know if you’re slipping up
- Don’t talk much, especially about yourself
- Don’t boast of past glories
- Don’t listen to flattery
- Don’t think you can land a young lady
- Don’t seek a legacy
- Don’t be too opinionated
- Don’t observe all of these rules too closely.