The Iliad by Homer – Book 14

The Iliad by Homer – Book 14

  • As the battle wore on, Nestor was having a drink, he asked Machaon
    • Nestor – What’s going on with all the belly-aching? It’s so loud and I can’t enjoy my wine
  • He got up to see the state of the Greek army and it looked pretty poor. He went to talk to Agamemnon to talk about it.
  • The wounded kings came out to survey the scene and became thoroughly depressed. Agamemnon spoke:
    • Agamemnon – Hector claims he won’t go back to Troy until he’s burnt our ships and killed us all. Meanwhile, there’s a fair number of Greeks like Achilles not fighting at all.
  • Nestor – Very true. The wall’s gone. We relied too much on it to protect our ships. The Trojans don’t even pause to give us a break. I can’t tell which part of our army will crack first. It all looks shaky. Either way, you all aren’t fit for battle.
  • Agamemnon – Fine, the wall and the trench didn’t work out like we’d thought they would. This must be Jove’s work. Maybe we should leave.
  • Ulysses – What are you talking about? We’ve already invested far too much in this war. You ought to keep quiet. Someone’s bound to hear that defeatist language.
  • Agamemnon – Just a though… Heave you got anything better?
  • Diomed – I might be young but I come from a long line of warriors. I say we fight on. Maybe not in the scariest parts of the battle. But we can cheer on the ones who aren’t really fighting.
  • Agamemnon agreed and they left
  • Neptune came up to them as an old man, he took Agamemnon’s hand and said
    • Neptune – Achilles must be happy the Greeks are licked. The gods will be angry with him but will be please with you so you’ll be able to push the Trojans back
  • Juno watched and liked Neptune’s idea. She looked at Jove sitting around at Mt Ida watching the scene and thought she’s pull on over on him. Maybe dressing up sexy would do the trick to distract him. She went into her secret room and got her hair done up, nice skin, nice clothes, nice jewelry, nice sandals and asked Venus to come over
    • Juno – I know you might be upset with me about this war but I’d like to have some of that Venus charm of yours. I’m going to Oceanus to break up a spat between him and Tethys. I want them to make up and be grateful about it
  • Venus gave her a girdle – the source of her charms – love, desire and flattery that clouds the judgment.
    • Venus – take this and wear it around your tits. That ought to do the trick
  • Juno met up with Sleep and asked him to do her a solid.
    • Juno – Put Jove under for a bit so I can hold him. Vulcan will give you a nice chair and footstool in return
    • Sleep – If it were any other god, I’d be game. But there is no way that I am going to do that to Jove. The last time you asked me to do that to him, Jove nearly flayed me alive. I only survived by hiding out at Night’s place. No way!
    • Juno – Don’t be silly. He was only upset about what happened to his son, Hercules. This is only about the Trojans. He’s only mildly interested in them because he’s so bored. How about I find you a nice girl to marry as a Thank You present
  • Sleep liked this and asked her to swear that she’d follow through on that promise.  Afterwards, Sleep crept down to Ida where Jove was. Juno walked in and got Jove all spooled up. This reminded him of their first time together.
  • He asked why she was all dressed up and she gave him the same line about Tethys
  • Jove – Perhaps you can put that off for a while because I’ve never been so turned on in all my life.
  • Juno – What? Here where everybody can see us? Let’s go to my secret room for some privacy
  • Jove – Don’t worry about privacy. I’ll sprout some tall grass to give us all the privacy that we need.
  • While this was going on, Sleep went to Neptune and told him that the Greeks weren’t going to be blocked by Jove because he was busy for a while. Neptune told the Greeks
    • Neptune – Now we can really clobber the Trojans
  • Ulysses and co. put on their armor and went to battle with Trojans
  • Hector and Ajax went for each other. Hector missed but Ajax hit Hector in the head with a rock and he fell to the ground
  • Both sides tried to pull him away but the Trojans succeeded. He woke up, threw up blood and fell asleep.
  • The Greeks got the best of the Trojans on the day

Video summary of the Text:

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